Healing Ancestral Trauma

This image is of the cemetery within Burton Parish in Williamsburg, Va. During my trip to Virginia, I walked through cemeteries and read the dates of death. Seeing gravestones from centuries ago made me think of my family who came before me.

Around this time of the year we spend time with family and loved ones. Gathering around the dining room tables talking, telling stories. It was for sure a past time within my family for years. Stories of how my one grandpa making moonshine in fields of World War Two to my great grandmother who spoke French all the time. I have known the basics of who my family is and where most of them had come from. Yet some of my family members stick out more than others. I have ones who were present in America during the early 1600’s. While others who have founded towns in Pennsylvania. Family lore and legends past down that have coincided along with research I have done. Of course, there are good and bad stories when it comes to my family. Which has unsettled me and made me afraid to ever talk about them to others when asked. Because many are written down in history books. I’ll give you the hint of First Thanksgiving for  one line of my ancestors were present for it.

Over the years both sides of my family have dwindled down. Due to different reasons, including death and fall outs. As a child into my teen I witnessed what was family trauma. I saw two families that were dysfunctional and how it all affected each of them. Seeing patterns displayed in certain members on each side full of greed, anger, control, hatred. It all seemed to trickle down in some form through generations. I can only say it happened by the examples or trauma shown to children. Then the forms just grew. And some cases it then seems normal to be abusive or to make nasty jokes about someone. It honestly is awful and rude. Deep down I disliked seeing it happen. I know that I could never hurt another verbally or belittle a person. Sadness and anger came about for me when seeing how much trauma has been inflicted upon each other. I never really knew how much this had impacted me as a person. Sometimes I was a victim to the dysfunction. Making me scared of seeing the cycles or patterns reappear in future generations. Because I can feel the cord connecting me to negative family and I have to cut it. Sometimes it feels that I in some way must end the trauma so it will not pass beyond the generation that I am a part of. This also includes in a way healing the negativity when it comes to the ones who came before.

About three weeks ago I came across a quote from Brooke Hampton,

“It’s up to you to change ‘generational narratives’: when they tell you, this “runs in the family” you tell them, “this is where it runs the f##k out.”

Brooke honestly sums up the concept of cutting the cord of attachment to negative family traits. I resonate with her 100 percent. The quote really began the researching of healing ancestral wounds. One way is to realize that you are not what your family reputation is whether that be good or bad. You are you. Second, you must forgive the ones in your family who have done harm in any fashion to others. Many times, it comes from the fact that they may believe that they are doing right when it is wrong Even if you were not involved. I know that I have been upset with my how my has family acted, but I must forgive. No matter what I can learn from their downfalls and mistakes.I know that this will take a bit of time to work on myself including ending the chain of dysfunctional. I am the one who can spread and show next generations love, positivity, accepting others for who they are. Personally, I do that anyway, but I can push myself to do it more.

This feeling of wanting to heal has been a theme for me that last little while. Yet I have being see the trend of others feeling the same way about their own family ‘narratives’ or traits and calling it quits. I recently saw Frozen 2, not to give spoilers away, there was a theme of righting the wrongs done in the past. The movie I found to be wonderful, with hidden life messages us viewers get to decode. If this is something interesting or resonates with you, then I say that you should investigate methods that can help you heal from trauma that has happened to you from family or them to others.